i would like you to know that i'm having a very hard time

Tiny Furniture 

Hey everyone. I hope your holidays have been awesome so far!

I sort of fell off the face of the Internet some time before Christmas for several reasons, the most annoying of them being that except for some bright moments here and there I'm not really doing so good. I'm having a shitty time. But I don't want to talk about that.

So, here's a picture of Loki trying to destroy my library instead. She got lots of presents but she still often prefers ruining my stuff and torturing me to playing with her toys. She's still amazing though. Because she's a cat.

things I do when I'm not busy crying and thinking everything is pointless

Learning keyboard shortcuts. I have Windows 7, which is a huge bother to navigate no matter how you do it, but the shortcuts at least make it quicker. In fact, they make everything quicker, including Chrome. I spend loads of time on the Internet and on the computer in general, so I'm trying to be smart about it at least.

Watching films and tv shows. I'm currently a bit sick, which is awesome of course, so I indulge in lots of pointless activities and then hate myself. So far I've seen most of my favourite Christmas movies, focusing especially on those that I've seen a thousand times already (You've Got Mail, I'm looking at you).
    I also watched most of the first season of The Killing. I'm failing to see what makes it so great, so I read who did it on Wikipedia and decided to stop watching. Maybe it was me, but there's not one character to root for. Even the cop's son is a depraved little shit. There's nothing new about the visual aspect of the show, it seems pretty old fashioned. Which is disappointing, given the way the show treats time, as in it proceeds really, really slowly.
    The Hour, on the other hand, I liked a lot. I'd even say it's perfect, but then you wouldn't believe me that, would you? And I'm not just saying that because it's full of attractive people. They're those that I didn't ever think of as attractive, either (except for Dominic West, whose face apparently came over from the times of Gregory Peck and Clark Gable) - I saw Ben Whishaw in Bright Star, and even though he was brilliant (it's a great movie), he looked very Keats-y indeed - sickly, mostly; and I never thought Romola Garai was quite this gorgeous...but the greatest surprise was Lix Storm - she's portrayed by Anna Chancellor, whom you might recall as Miss Bingley or Henrietta ("the Duck") from Four Weddings and a Funeral, and who looks very attractive indeed. So yeah, the show was pretty to look at. But it's also amazingly done and it's not dull. So there.



    And then I watched Warehouse 13. Which is very entertaining. I marathoned it, which is never a good idea, so the final episodes sort of blur together and make one great mess.
   I also saw some films not from the nineties. First it was 10 Years. It has Aubrey Plaza in it. And Chris Pratt. It's an ensemble cast comedy. What could possibly go wrong, right? The fact is I hated the film, if only because of how it posed as fresh and new and managed to be at the same time hyperbolic and narrow-minded. Of course the singer gets the girl in the end. In fact, they do it in his car. She just can't help herself. Of course the popular girl is now a single mom, who peaked in high school. Of course the geeks are still this weird group of weak, pathetic, ugly people. And of course that at the whole reunion there is not a single person who is not straight. I don't really get how classes work in American schools, but it seemed to me that there were an awful lot of people at that event. There was also a big, big cast. So well done pretending that gay people don't exist.
    After that big success I watched The Perks of Being a Wallflower, because there really has been no avoiding it since it came out. I haven't read the book yet (but I will, you can basically see the cuts in the movie, even though it was directed by the author and everything), I've been put off by the fact that it is a YA novel after all, a problem that's not there when you're watching the film. Also I'm just fascinated by adaptation, not schooled in it, so I can't say how well the author did directing the film. I think he did great, though. The film just...works. It's very well put together. I've seen the word "powerful" used to describe it and I hate this word. But it's something like that. It's just a really good movie.



Then I had a meltdown. Now I''m thinking about watching Incendies.

Also, I've seen some of the Best Films lists and I like that Haneke's Amour made all of them so far. I saw it some months ago and it's one of the best films I have ever seen. Don't watch it alone, though.

Reading. No, I'm not. I started reading David Mitchell's Back Story and I don't like it so far, and I have an Oxford history of New York on my Kindle, but it is about a million pages long, so I don't count that as really reading it. I look into it occasionally and marvel at how long it is. Other than that I'm a bit too fucked and too feverish to be reading anything serious. I should be, though. The required reading list for the exams is just about endless at this point.
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So that is coherent and well-argued. Oh boy.
Have a good time wherever you are. And go see The Perks of Being a Wallflower if you haven't already.